Recently, my friend posted up this video that caught my eye. It is about an experiment done on the response of strangers in a bar when they see a man attempting to take a drunken lady out of the place. Check it out!
I got really disgusted by the last few minutes of the video when the 2 married men just keep laughing as the guy was suggesting places he would want to take the girl to. And worst of the all, one of the guy is a cop. And he says that there is alot of complications especially if he is an law enforcer. ELLO! *roll eyes* thats exactly when we need you to enforce the law.
Most response would be to walk away or watch "the good show". Which, true enough is the response of many, doesnt matter if you were in Toa Payoh - representing neighbourhood area, Raffles Place - populated by professionals, or outside Ion - shoppers or tourists. And it was reported that those who took action to response were foreigners. Where are all the Singaporean Men???
Things that goes through most peoples' mind could be:
"if I help her, I also get hit how?"
"if I help her, its so malu!"
"if I help her, later she say none of your business then how".
Well, if I was there, I probably wont help too. But I would call security from some nearby building. What if he hits me? I am so petite. But I realise this phenonmeon of not reacting immediately is not just in Singapore.
This "phenonmeon" is basically called the bystander effect. It is derived from the infamous case of Kitty Genovese murder. If you have studied Sociology or Psychology, this case would not be new to you.
Case of Kitty Genovese
In 1964, Kitty Genovese was brutally stabbed to death in Queens New York. The attack lasted 30 mins and her assialant left twice the scene and returned to continue the attack. Media reported that 38 witnesses watched from their apartment windows and none called the police or helped. It caused a public attention and sociologists started to investigate this behaviour. Although it was later reported that there not 38 witnesses and the police was contacted at least once during the attack, and many of the bystanders who overheard the attack couldnt see the event.
Could we blame on the person character/ personality or its a social reaction?
Check out the next video. (Warning: Some viewers may find the video disturbing).
In the past, I used to think that if in a crowd, I would be safe as people would help. But according to sociologists, its not true. Check out the next video.
I remembered when I was still studying Singapore Institute of Management, there was a blonde lady literally lying on the stairs at the end of the bridge infront of the school. It happened during peak hour where all students were rushing to their classes. I was shocked and I had to walk past her as the stairs was quite cramped. And she was just lying there with eyes wide open. I looked around and was wondering why no one was helping. As accurately as what the sociologist said, I didnt want to stand out from the group. Till today I still regret that I didnt help or at least ask. But I still wonder at the fact that at least 30 people has passed her before me and no one helped. Well, but, there was once, I ran after a man after he dropped his hp in the bus, I rushed down after the bus and run up a flight of stairs, just to pass him back. I guess because it was a clear responsibility and no one saw the phone except me. Thus there was no diffusion of responsibility.
However, some people do make use of such helpfulness to their own benfits. My aunt was telling me there were a few cases of a woman pretending to be ill and fainted at Tao Payoh bus interchange and when people helped her she asked for money. We still need to be wary of such cases.
Sometimes, we are afraid because we think it is embarassing, but what is there to be really embarassed about? Because we stand out to show that we are kind?
We are afraid because the person might hurt us. then its advisable to find someone of bigger stature or position to help.
We are afraid it would complicate matters, I have nothing to say, except Karma do happens.
But there is one thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE. Its when guys throw their tantrum or show their anger in public by either scolding or screaming be it at their girlfriend or staff. Its totally uncouth. If you want to show your anger do it elsewhere. It just shows how uncivilised and childish the person is because he cannot control his temper. I do agree that girls should restrain from publicly showing anger, especially when using a shoe and hitting her boyfriend's urhmmm... in the public while hurling comments at him, it was rumoured that the guy cheated on her. (if you dont know what I am talking about, check out a video of a Singaporean woman hitting her bf with her shoe) But what damage could a girl do? I guess thats the most we can do, but guys' strength is so much more, well, our parents always tell us never marry a man that would hit you, if he shouts at you in public, it wont be long he would hit you, because he cannot control his temper. Wonder how true it is?
Just watch the next video.
Well, before Kitty Genovese case, the bible has already talked about this situation of bystander effect, thats where we get the story of the Good Samaritan. Its not about the race, religion, statuts or whatsoever, if its a human, we just need to help. But do make sure you are safe as well.