Monday, September 6, 2010

Fear of the future

Yupz, as the title says, recently, I have been having THE Fear of the future. The fear of the unknown. My heart starts pumping very hard and a heavy weight burdens it. Am I thinking too much? Is it normal to feel like this? I should think so, that most girls at my age would fear and are worried about it. I hate the feeling of not knowing. The unpredictability is killing my curiousity and making me frustrated.

The reality of life is starting to hit me hard. I thank God for my parents who still showers me with great love and tries hard to shield me from the cruelty of reality. But thats only so much they can do. I rather they leave me to fend for myself when I was younger and discipline me harder in the area of finances. Nope I am blaming them cause no parents are born parents, they learn from mistakes as well. But I am glad that they didnt spare the rod when teaching me on the importance of academic. I did benefit from it.

I feel that I have not been working hard enough, think my laziness will get the better of me if I continue to slack. Gear up, Wendy!

After the race, I have lots of plans! Thinking and planning about it makes me excited. But being a typical Arien, we are such good starters but bad finisher. Oh well, at least we get the party started right?

1) My Blog! Going to revamp it
2) Trip to Melbourne (still planning)
3) Trip to UK in 2011
4) Trip to work in Nov and Dec (crossing my fingers that I can get at least 2-3 trips, best if its Japan, Korea and Taiwan (wow!!! its already making me high!)
5) My lasik in Feb 2011 (hopefully) (sad that I have to push back)
6) Cookery expedition (Still finding my niche)
7) My finance planning (everytime didnt succeed to plan) (But vow to do it this time) By 10 Oct
Hmmmm... so far thats all.. Going to plan somemore!

Anyway, recently, I encountered an upsetting situation. Was really upset about a friend of mine. But well, I care alot about my friends and would stand up for those who are bullied. But I get upset when I get blamed when I didnt do anything wrong. and to make a mountain over a molehill. Well, we have learnt to forgive and forget. Just have to move on and learn to be real careful of what I say to this friend from now onwards. Cos I would never know when "he" would use my words to bite. its not the first time already that "he" twisted my words. I still treat him as my friend, and still think well of "him" but I have a certain wariness about "him" now.

Well thats all.